


Duality and Balance

by FreakingWildfire



Series: Miraculous Collection [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Buckle up kids, F/M, I've got an entire notebook full of scenes and plot points, Like, this is gonna take so long, you have no idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:02:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9096421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreakingWildfire/pseuds/FreakingWildfire
Summary: With the secret of their identities slowly fading away, Ladybug and Chat Noir are getting dangerously close the final battle against Hawkmoth. However, the stakes are more than what either of them bargained for and the aftermath, unpredictable.





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> This idea literally came to me when I randomly asked myself: "what if I made this character go really dark and go to *bleep* and do *bleep* and become *bleep*?" (Will remove the bleeps once it's not a spoiler) Well, stuff happened and now I have a potentially huge fanfic in my hands. I really hope you folks enjoy it, because I'm feeling very emotionally invested in it and there is a lot about to happen.
> 
> Huge thanks to Malin, my lovely girlfriend, who is the best proofreader in the world. ♥

 

Mei waved goodbye as the last of her students exited the room through the sliding door. In a matter of seconds, the reasonably ample _kwoon_ was empty. Turning on her heel, she gathered her belongings and swept the space with a glance, making sure that no equipment was lying around. The ceiling-to-floor mirror at the far end showed only her lone figure. Nodding, she switched off the lights and started to make her way after her pupils.

 The second she faced the door, the keys she was holding slipped through her fingers and hit the floor with a startling jingle.  She stiffened as a pillar. Her heart almost jumped out of her chest.

Her eyes clashed with another pair that seemed to burn right through her. A pair of green eyes that she knew very well —she had been dreaming of them almost every night for the past six years. She used to wake up wrecked, heaving, sobs ripping from her throat. It felt like the air in her lungs had been replaced by ice needles. Over time, her emotions calcified and she became immune to the memory of him. Or so she had thought.

His smoldering gaze seemed to strip her soul bare. Her perfectly sculpted marble feelings were cracking at a staggering speed under the earthquake that was taking over her. Yet, her bluebell eyes betrayed nothing. She didn’t even flinch as the silence stretched, a small eternity of every natural catastrophe known to mankind ravaging her.

It was him who parted his trembling lips to speak. “I’ve been looking for you for so long,” his eyes glinted, humid.

She yanked the sliding door closed with so much strength it even ricocheted on its hinges.


	2. The dragon connundrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette is really distracted. Since Ladybug's and Chat's fight against a very... mystical akuma, she feels like she's on the verge of realizing something. Something about their secret identities so huge that it could turn her entire world upside down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! I hope the very short preface didn't deter you from getting into the story. I promise that, from now on, chapters are gonna be reasonably longer. My goal is to update once every two-three weeks, but that may vary depending on how demanding college gets (after all, I'm in my final year...). 
> 
> But enough of that! I'd love to thank Malin again for being so amazing and proofreading for me. However, if any of you can pinpoint any typos or grammar errors, let me know because I'm not a native speaker... I'm leaving some notes at the end with the translation of a few terms in Chinese that apear throughout the chapter ;) Enjoy!

Soft fingertips brushed her arm. Marinette yelped. Alya was shaking her head, her eyes narrowed. “It’s like you’re not even trying anymore,” she whispered, not even bothering to hide her exasperation.” I swear, girl, if you don’t get a grip this is the last time I’m lending you my notes. Have you even listened to anything Ms. Bustier has said in the past fifteen minutes?”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer —but closed it without uttering a single word, realizing that A) Alya was not going to like the answer and B) It was probably a rhetorical question anyway. Truth was, she couldn’t even tell what the topic of that day’s lesson was. Her attention had been snared by the honey glint of a certain blonde’s hair, to nobody’s surprise.

“I’m sorry,” she settled for, not daring to look her in the eye. “I’ll tune in right now.”

Alya let out a soft snort, but her shoulders relaxed a little and she patted Marinette’s shoulder affectionately.

“I know that having a crush sometimes totally hijacks a girl’s mind, but somebody needs to remind you about the other important stuff while your brain is short-circuiting, I don’t want to see you flunk.”

The brunette managed a sheepish smile and nodded once.

“Right. Thanks, Alya.”

The baker’s daughter had to admit, not without shame, that it wasn’t unlike her to get lost in thoughts of the school’s golden boy, Adrien Agreste. Often Alya had to spend a good twenty seconds waving her hand in front of Marinette’s face for her to so much as register it. One particularly embarrassing time, Marinette had fallen down a flight of stairs after she failed to heed Alya’s warning about the juice someone had spilled all over the first step (the culprit being Chloé, who had been placed by witnesses throwing a small carton that read ‘Pineapple and grape’ to the nearest trashcan afterwards). All in all, Marinette’s tendency to distraction was almost as infamous as her innate clumsiness, and people were no stranger to the general cause of both.

Specifically, and despite the fact that Adrien was looking dashing after coming from a photo-shoot without changing clothes or taking off his makeup, all she could think about was the fact that he could speak Chinese. And it was driving her nuts.

 

* * *

 

The Dragon Lady was living up to her name and proving to be a formidable opponent. Ladybug and Chat had been able to get a grasp of the story from her furious rambling: she worked as an actress, and she had been offered the nth role as the ‘Asian mystical lady’ that acts as the protagonist’s mentor. After rejecting it, she had gotten into a nasty argument with her agent, who insisted that she picked a role and stuck with it or her career was going to go south soon. That had been the last straw.

By the time they had spotted her akumatized form, she was making her way towards the movie studio where the auditions were being held. They were lucky enough to intercept her in the middle of the Place de la Bastille, hovering past the _colonne de juillet_. The roundabout was already deserted, the people of Paris aware that their best chance in case of an akuma was to evacuate immediately.

She stood on a round ivory cloud a few meters above the ground, her silky crimson kimono flapping in the soft May breeze, and welcomed them by opening up one of her ornate hand fans with a quick jerk of her wrist.

“I was wondering when you would turn up and fail to stop me,” she said. “You want to get out of my way. I’m serving justice with a side of revenge.”

“Can it be Chow Mein style? I love noodles!” Chat exclaimed, in an attempt to rile her up and make her come down from her flying puff of white.

It worked, and The Dragon Lady drifted lower until she was almost level with the boy. Her expression was threatening.

“I would watch your arrogant mouth, _xiǎo māo_. I can think of very creative ways to skin a cat.” Before either of them could react, she rose up again, out of their reach. “They want me to be a walking cliché because ‘the movie demands it’? Well, you know what’s also very typical Chinese? Fire-breathing dragons!” As if triggered by her words, the dragon illustration on the fan she was holding seemed to come to life and did… well, exactly what she had just said.

Flabbergasted, Ladybug wouldn’t have recoiled in time to avoid the green-blue flames licking towards her if Chat Noir hadn’t shoved her aside. The ball of fire crashed against where she had been standing. It left a sizzling dent. They rolled a couple times over the cobblestones before coming to a stop, Ladybug on top her partner. She scoured his face for any signs of pain.

“Did she get you?” she asked, panting.

“Safe and sound, my Lady,” he assured her, a crooked smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He made a motion to sit up, and then seemed to notice Ladybug’s weight on him. “Not that I don’t enjoy getting caught in the heat of the moment with you, but can we maybe get back to that once we’re done dragon that akuma out of the poor lady?”

She felt her cheeks burning even as she rolled her eyes at her partner’s terrible humor. She couldn’t help the thought that crossed her mind as she used his chest to push herself up —about how his smile seemed to be shine brighter from up-close, how his canine teeth looked slightly sharper than those of your average human. She hated that she found it endearing (and just a tiny bit sexy, but she wasn’t going to admit that even to herself).

The moment ended as The Dragon Lady floated in their direction, the dragon painted on her second fan roaring and ready to fire. Her kimono blazed under noon’s sunlight. Chat Noir sprung to his feet and adopted a defensive stance by Ladybug’s side.

“Well, while I do share your grief, I’m thinking some storytelling lessons would be sufficient to make the scales fall from the writers’ eyes. No need to _fan_ the flames any further!” the hero of Paris joked.

“That bunch of mediocre scriptwriters wouldn’t know a good character if it burnt them to ashes!” she yelled, attempting to make her way to the filming studio, but Ladybug stood in her way.

The heroine couldn’t say she was unsympathetic. Being half Chinese, she’d had her fair share of letdowns in her 16 years of going to the movies. However, she was almost sure that charring every single scriptwriter out there wasn’t actually going to do much in terms of diversity and representation.

“You dare hinder my advance?” The Dragon Lady snarled. “Then I will take you down and take your Miraculous with me!”

Chat Noir dropped his jesting expression and stepped forward, and everything about his pose spoke of violence now, “If you want her Miraculous, you’re gonna have to glide over my dead body!”

Her timeless, wise face twisted with venomous resentment as she cracked a terrible smile. Ladybug found herself tearing her gaze apart from her to nod at Chat, thankful for his loyalty.

Ladybug watched the akumatized victim approach their position again. She wasn’t slowing down, as if willing to crash against them, readying her dragon fans. She could hear their vicious roars even from a distance. Extending his baton, Chat prepared to intercept the burning projectiles, and so did the pig-tailed girl with her yoyo, but she wasn’t stopping.

When The Dragon Lady got dangerously close, the heroes of Paris had no other choice but to throw themselves to the ground and roll with the fall. Ladybug landed on her back and was about to jump back up when she felt s omething akin to a blade pressed against her neck –the mount of the dragon fan. It felt as sharp as the teeth the painted creature was flashing at her. She drew a shaky breath.

“Such beauty, yet so easily defeated,” The Dragon Lady clicked her tongue, feigning pity. “Who knew Chat Noir would fall for a _huāpíng_ like this.” Ladybug didn’t need to know what that word meant to pick up on the fact that she should be offended by it. “Well, I suppose since your pretty face is the only salvageable thing about you, you don’t really need these,” she added, reaching for her Miraculous with her left hand. Ladybug squirmed, trying to avoid her pale fingers, but she was pinned down with a strength that was making it hard to breathe.

A metallic, elongated object came out of nowhere and suddenly knocked the akuma’s hand off its trajectory. She reacted with an outraged screech. Ladybug used that brief moment to wriggle away from her enemy, scrambling to her feet as fast as she could —just in time to see Chat retract his baton and hiss at their adversary.

“You will refrain from addressing my Lady in those terms,” he spat.

Ladybug jerked her head in his direction –had he actually understood what the akuma had just said? Because she most certainly hadn’t. The Asian woman sneered at him.

“I will address her however I please. And I’ll do the same with you, _xiǎo bái liǎn_. You think you’re so smart, with your plays of words and your attitude. Well, think again!”

She pointed her left fan towards Chat, and the reptile in it spat a ball of fire that almost knocked him off balance despite being able to deviate it with his baton. Ladybug let out an exclamation.

“That’s enough!” she yelled, pulling out her yoyo and throwing it at the akuma. She dodged it with ease and a patronizing face.

“I’ve met many like her,” she continurf, looking Chat in the eye, “Cute little girls with nothing else to offer but their looks –no talent, no intelligence. Those wannabes will never take another role from me. _Xiùhuā zhěntou,_ all of them. And she’s no different,” she snickered, and her features scrunched up into a cruel grimace.

“You take that back right now!” Chat demanded, his voice a low growl.

Ladybug wasn’t sure what was happening anymore. All she knew, after watching the woman for the length of their heated exchange, was that the akuma was bound to be located in her hairpin. Well, that, and that she needed sign up for Chinese lessons. It did come in handy, apparently. Her mind flashbacked to her struggles with the Chinese automatic translator, meeting her chef uncle and having a certain blond delivered to her door to bail her out of a very sticky situation— her brain came to a screeching halt. Something about that… There was something about that memory. It seemed to be stirring an idea that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She shook her head and tried to dispel it. Whatever that was, now was not the time to dwell into it.

The Dragon Lady was staring back at her now, wrinkling her nose in disdain. “Just look at her. So vacant. Incapable of following the simplest conversation —if I were you I would take her miraculous myself so that she doesn’t get hurt. I don’t think there’s another way if you want to keep her alive and for yourself.”

Beyond her own indignation, Ladybug could perceive the tension building up inside of Chat, pent-up energy almost overflowing and about to be released in a violet explosion. She wouldn’t want to trade places with that particular akuma right now.

“Why you little—“ she started giving her a piece of her mind, but Chat interrupted her and almost masticated his next sentence.

“ _Ài bú shì zhàn yǒu, ér shì xīn shǎng_ ,” the hero replied with astonishing fluidity, eyes narrowed to a very thin, very green line, the emerald almost bleeding out of it. The gears in Ladybug’s brain started turning once again, but something seemed to be missing for her to make sense of whatever they were trying to tell her.

“Will somebody stop insulting my intelligence in languages in which I can’t respond to the affront?” She exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “I’m done with you. Chat! The akuma is in her hairpin!” She pointed at the dragon-shaped accessory that seemed to be made out of some kind of green gem and was stuck in her high bun.

“My purrleasure,” he nodded, his teeth bare, a fierce look in his eyes. She had barely opened her mouth to tell him to attack by the time he was already leaping, staff in hand, ready to fend off any incoming projectiles. “Cataclysm!” He yelled, managing to grab one of the fans in between his claws. The dragon trapped within it bellowed in agony before disintegrating.

Making use of the distraction, Ladybug ran to the sidewalk and used her yoyo to boost herself up on a nearby streetlight. She waited until Chat made The Dragon Lady recoil enough. She tried to stay away from his claws in order to aim, but he kept reaching her thanks to his staff that he kept craning up and down. When she ended up floating right underneath Ladybug, she let herself freefall on her and knocked her off her stupid, vapory cloud.

The impact was lessened by the body right underneath her, so she hardly needed time to recover. Ladybug wasted no time going for the dragon hairpin, snatching it out of the woman’s elaborate hairdo and crushing it with her fist. Chat was by her side instantly, helping her up so that she could grab for her yoyo in time to catch the akuma.

A minute later, a very confused middle-aged Chinese lady was trying to make sense of the situation, the akuma had been purified and the burn damages caused by her scaly friends had been reverted.

Chat’s fist awaited her for their usual victory gesture.

She stared at him. Intently.

“What?” Chat asked after a few seconds, his tail fidgeting behind him.

“You speak Chinese? Since when?”

Chat scratched his neck with his clawed fingers.

“Oh, that. Yeah, I do. I’ve been taking lessons for… a while.”

It was staring her right in the face. It was on the tip of her tongue. Yet, her thinking was slowed by a thick brain fog every time that subject arose, making her want to stop the pursuit.

“What did she say about me?” She asked instead, raising an eyebrow.

“Wha— there’s no need to repeat that. That was ugly jealousy and I’m sure our nice lady over there did not mean it,” he let out a dismissive laugh.

Ladybug crossed her arms over her chest.

“Okay, then, what did you tell her?”

A beep.

“Would you look at that— it looks like I have to escape through the emergency exit! See ya, my Lady!”

“Whoa, kitty, where’s the fire?” she tried to catch him by the arm to keep him for just a little longer, but he was already taking off, using his baton to propel himself over the Parisian rooftops.

“Sorry, Bugaboo! I’ll make it up to you! Chinese takeout is on me!” he yelled from the distance, before disappearing into the city skyline.

We don’t ever do takeout, you dumbo! She wanted to yell, but her frustration was nobody else’s business. Plus, she hadn’t eaten any Asian food since her uncle’s celestial soup, and the bar had been set too high after that.

There it was again. That nagging sensation somewhere inside in the back of mind. It was something that had to do with her uncle, or with speaking Chinese, or with… or with…

Something about Adrien. Something about Adrien speaking Chinese. Who else spoke Chinese? That Dragon Lady they’d fought spoke Chinese. And Chat also spoke Chinese, apparently. He had been learning for a while, according to him. Was all of that related?

How? It was like trying to complete a ‘connect the dots’ exercise while blackout drunk. She felt there was an obvious conclusion to be reached from there, but said conclusion and her brain were like magnets of the same pole —they kept repelling each other.

Maybe she could ask her blond friend about what some of those words meant. Her blond friend at school that had been learning Chinese for a while now. Not her other blond friend who wore a leather-clad suit and had also been learning Chinese for a while n—

Her hand flew to her mouth, muffling a sharp scream. She almost choked on her on spit as a result.

She let out a sharp scream before her own hand flew to her mouth, muffling the sound. She almost choked on her on spit as a result.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation for the terms mentioned in the chapter: 
> 
> Xiǎo māo: Kitten  
> Huāpíng: A beautiful person who is not intelligent, capable, or talented; eye candy (literally, “flower vase”).  
> Xiǎo bái liǎn: Little white face (male), Insult level 3/5. In this case it refers to a young man who doesn’t know too much about the world, a pretty boy.  
> Xiùhuā zhěntou: Synonym for 花瓶; someone (or something) beautiful but useless (literally, “embroidered pillow”).
> 
> Ài bú shì zhàn yǒu, ér shì xīn shǎng: Love is not about possession, it's all about appreciation (Chinese saying).
> 
> That's all! See you for next chapter! Leave kudos if you liked it and, if you have the time, give me feedback! I appreciate it so much! Have a wonderful day/night!


	3. Honor and trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette is torn between her curiosity and oath to respect her partner's secret identity. Tikki has a word to the wise for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda lied, because I had one more chapter ready, but for real, from now on updates are gonna be every 2-3 weeks (I'm sorry but that's the most I can manage with school in the way). Thanks again to Malin for proofreading my drafts, I don't know what I'd do without your help!

Marinette was startled back to the present by the shrieking bell signaling the end of Ms. Bustier’s lesson. Alya was facepalming in the seat beside her.

“And there we go. Welcome again among the living. Have you already finished counting the hairs on Adrien’s head, or do you think you’re gonna need another literature lesson for that?”

The twin-tailed girl kept her gaze low, having the decency of looking ashamed of herself. She hadn’t been able to stop staring at Adrien since she and Chat Noir fought The Dragon Lady, analyzing his every move, look, expression, taking in his words, trying to find another thread that would tie the ever so perfect model boy to the tomcat she had partnered with. It had almost been a week and she had nothing.

Marinette looked around, dazed. She and her best friend were the only people left in the classroom. Alya picked up her things and headed for the exit, slowing down for a second to gesture to her friend.

“Are you coming? Don’t tell me you’re also gonna skip lunch in favor of daydreaming.”

“I’m right behind you!” she squeaked, hurrying after her. She frowned as she passed Adrien’s empty seat.

Nothing about her classmate’s demeanor had changed. He was his usual self, collected, polite, caring. No traces of the overly excited kitten that followed her around Paris after school. And yet, she couldn’t shake the feeling of an impending revelation dawning upon her. It was far-fetched, she knew that. A lot of people learnt Chinese these days. But not a lot of blond boys attending high school and with a similar build and green eyes happened to have a consistent grasp of the language.

Should she risk it? Could she confront Adrien about it? Adrien, the boy that had her struggling for words just to say ‘good morning’? A person who was the living embodiment of ‘kill them with kindness’? Could he be the boy hiding under the mask?

The consequences if she was wrong could be dire. But she couldn’t ignore her suspicions either, and that’s how she had ended up devoting her every waking moment to scrutinizing her classmate in a way that could only be described as creepy. This was far from the fangirl admiration she used to indulge in; this was a purposeful intrusion of his carefully crafted public image, trying to dig deeper to uncover any potential deep dark secrets he could be hiding.

She had convinced herself that, if she was right, her stalking would have been justified. If not… Well, Adrien might want to look into placing a restraining order against her. She sighed and closed the zipper of her backpack, letting her steps guide her after Alya, lest she would be scolded again (and with good reason).

 

* * *

 

Marinette’s desk chair complained as she plopped into it, closing her eyes and groaning.

“Tikki, I’m going to go crazy.”

The zapping of her kwami as she exited her purse and hovered next to her cheek offered little comfort. Her brain was a steam engine and it was overheating by the minute.

“I don’t know what to tell you, Marinette. The coincidences are there… But I don’t think they’re enough to call it as it is,” Tikki sat on Marinette’s shoulder, pensive.

Marinette opened just one eye to shoot her a quizzical look.

“And you’re sure you know nothing? Nothing at all? There is not some super-ancient knowledge that you can access and magically figure out stuff about other Miraculous holders?”

“If it were that easy, we wouldn’t be in over our heads trying to figure out Hawkmoth’s identity, don’t you think?” the kwami reasoned.

Marinette sank further in her chair.

“I guess,” she conceded.

“What I can tell you,” the kwami started, and her chosen snapped to attention, “is that it’s not gonna be easy to sort this one out. Seeing through a Miraculous’ secrets is like trying to spy on your neighbors through their curtains. You’re not supposed to do it, so the Miraculous makes it as hard as possible.”

“What do you mean, as hard as possible?”

“I mean, giving their holders superpowers is not the only thing the jewels do. They’re meant to keep them safe from prying eyes, too. Because of that, their magic affects people’s minds by clouding thoughts that could lead them to uncovering their identities.”

Marinette recalled the feeling of sluggishness that came over her when she was trying to put the pieces together. “Yeah, I get what you mean. When we faced The Dragon Lady it felt like I was… drugged. Like my thoughts were all muddy and disjointed. And I still feel a little dopey, I’m just forcing myself to fight it.”

It was true. She still felt like someone had put a veil over her eyes and she had to strain them to make out the shapes of the real world past the blindfold. Tikki nodded, leaving her perch on Marinette’s shoulder and floating over to her desk, where a small plate displayed several chocolate chip cookies from the bakery.

“It’s supposed to feel like that. It’s meant to protect Chat’s privacy. The same kind of spell is contained within your Miraculous too, you know,” she took a rather disproportionate bite from one of the cookies, considering her size.

“So, what you’re saying is,” Marinette bit her nail, “that the Miraculous are ‘coded’ to jam each other’s signals? Isn’t that terribly inconvenient?”

“It’s not inconvenient if it prevents Hawkmoth from finding you. Knowledge is power, Marinette. And the power of possessing another superhero’s secret can be devastating if misused.”

Marinette hadn’t thought of including Hawkmoth into the equation. Now, just imagining the terrifying consequences of him having access to her civilian self made her flinch. She was flooded with gratefulness for the protective spell.

“However,” Tikki continued, swallowing her third gigantic bite, “the chosen can decide to let each other in on their secret, and once they do that, the spell wears off for them. In the meantime, until both superheroes build enough trust to take that step, their Miraculous ensures that the chances of them finding out any other way are minimal.”

Marinette had started to entertain the idea of grabbing a notebook, dividing the page in two and listing the common characteristics of both Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste, but her thoughts came to a halt after Tikki’s last explanation. “You’re not insinuating what I think you are,” there was accusation in her tone.

Tikki closed her eyes and braced herself.

“It’s just not fair for one of them to find out while the other is still in the dark. It breeds mistrust and doubt, when this revelation is supposed to strengthen your bond. We kwamis know, and everything about our magic lays a path for our chosen to follow: the path of sincerity and honor. That’s why,” she cherry-picked her next words, “I think that, unless you are ready to walk up to Chat Noir and trust him with your secret, you should leave his alone for the time being.”

“Are you kidding me?” Marinette said, dropping both hands to her sides. “Not telling him doesn’t mean I don’t trust him! I trust Chat Noir with my life!”

“Yet not with your secrets?” Marinette fell silent. “It looks to me like you have some soul-searching to do, then. Maybe it is yourself that you don’t trust enough.”

At a loss for a retort, Marinette only managed to further voice her frustration.

“You honestly expect me to come this close and drop it?”

“I expect you to do right by your partner, yes,” Tikki responded, and Marinette cowered at the pang of guilt in her stomach.

“But… But…”

“It’s not like you’d get much further,” Tikki interrupted. “Since the magic dulls your thoughts, you’re never going to be sure whether you’re still doubting because the magic is in action, or because the evidence is insufficient to reach an answer, and neither am I. And I know you wouldn’t risk exposing yourself like that. Remember that your secret can endanger the lives of those who know it. It’s not worth it, Marinette. When you both are ready, you’ll find out.”

Marinette had always been a sore loser, but never had she hated for somebody else to win an argument like she did right now.


End file.
